A Major League Coach Living His Values Shouldn't Be Controversial

Why Alex Cora made the right call and, what we can learn from it.

On May 19th, Boston Red Sox manager Alex Cora caused a bit of a stir when he missed the series opener against the New York Mets to attend his daughter’s college graduation. A Boston talk radio host called Cora’s decision “a kind of preposterous” excuse for skipping a game.

The only preposterous thing is how dumb that statement is.

The host went on: “It’s not like they need him there to make the pitching change or lay down the bunt. It’s the leadership and the optics of the whole thing. It’s a very easy chance for him to say nothing is more important than tonight’s game.”

Clearly, the radio guy doesn’t understand a thing about actual excellence.

Some things are more important than a baseball game, and it’s great that Cora set this example for his players. A culture in which you feel like you need to skip your daughter’s college graduation is a culture that will become toxic and losing very fast. The ability to prioritize and make tradeoffs is key to sustaining excellence over the long haul. Yes, you need to make all kinds of sacrifices, but they should be smart and wise—not rote and performative.

Baseball is a 162 game season.

Missing one game for a major life event like your child’s graduation is fine. A sign of a good leader is that they can step away and trust the team will function well enough without them.

“She wanted me to be with her. It was her day and this [baseball game] was secondary… It’s a day. I wasn’t going to miss it.” Cora said.

It’s not like Cora is phoning it in or missing games to go out drinking with the guys. It’s the first game he’s missed all season. It may very well be the last.

The Red Sox went on to win 3-1. But even if they hadn’t, it’d still be okay, because some things are bigger than baseball. Not to mention, what allows you to be hyper-focused for the games that really do matter is the ability to make tradeoffs for the ones that don’t.

People in the Arena Get It

When I posted about this story on my Instagram, World Series Champion Ryan Lavarnway immediately chimed in:

“Yes!” he wrote. “When I was playing pro baseball, I sacrificed so much. I missed all of my friends’ weddings, bachelor parties, birthdays… the births of my nieces and nephews, their birthday parties. Funerals I may have otherwise attended, etc. at the time, most of those things didn’t feel like a sacrifice because I was chasing my dream and I had never been shown an example that it could be ok to step away for a day or two.

Then when my daughter was born, I wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice anymore. That was why I ultimately decided to stop playing. So I didn’t have to choose. And I chose my family. Good job Alex Cora for showing his true priorities, and thank you Brad for highlighting him for it!”

Never doubt the grifters and entertainers to come in with their explosive takes on “dedication,” “commitment,” and “what it takes” to be great. But people who have been in the arena almost always have a more nuanced and thoughtful perspective.

Pushing Back Against Performative Greatness and Internet Excellence

This whole ordeal encapsulates what I call performative greatness or internet excellence: do everything perfect, never miss a game, ignore your feelings, you need to sacrifice it all.

It’s so stupid and removed from the actual truth—whether it’s coming from a radio host, Instagram bro, podcaster, or wellness influencer.

There are lessons in here for all of us:

• Excellence does require sacrifices, but you can evaluate tradeoffs on their merits.

• You don’t have to be perfect. If you want to be consistent and sustain greatness over the long haul, you’ve got to have at least some flexibility day-to-day.

• Know your values and follow them.

• In every walk of life there are going to be haters and clowns: ignore them.

• Do the thing that an older version of you would be proud of.

Good for Alex Cora. I’m glad he pushed back. I hope most of us have the courage to do the same.